


Goat's Milk

by shootertron



Series: Dairybots [4]
Category: Transformers (Unicron Trilogy), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Erotic Lactation, M/M, Male Lactation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Talking Animals, farm life, milking an animal, robot lactation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:40:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10129334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shootertron/pseuds/shootertron
Summary: Unicron appears as a goat before Starscream. His udder is full, and requires milking.





	1. Goat's milk

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the universe of a big fic I haven’t gotten around to writing. The premise: Unicron resurrected Starscream after the events of Armada, and has made him a guest. Some things happen between that and this fic, including Unicron coming to Starscream in the disguise of a minicon and journeying with him to his core room, and Starscream finding out Unicron’s ruse and freaked out. Unicron’s insides host an ecosystem inhabited by select beings taken from worlds Unicron devoured. Goats in Unicron are people (satyr-mechs), which Starscream has met. Satyr-mechs have toe configurations similar to Unicron's Armada figure, with two large toes opposite each other and two smaller toes to the side.
> 
> Unicron is a doe goat in this, obviously. Don't read if it bothers to have a guy character who looks like a girl goat. Warning for Unicron continuously asking Starscream to do something he's reluctant to do until he gives in, I guess.

After wandering for days inside Unicron’s cavernous insides, Starscream emerged into a meadow. Here, feathery grass the color of dried flax swayed in the breeze. A deep blue sky stretched out in a wide dome above him. A few clouds drifted in the sky, white wisps moving slowly overhead. Starscream smelled fresh air, gentle against his “skin”, and whiffed the scent of grass floating in the air.

Another one of Unicron’s illusions?

Something was moving in the grass, causing it to rustle. Starscream raised his arm in defense.

The thing drew nearer, and Starscream could see it was a quadrupedal creature covered in long, golden fur. It walked on feet with thick hooves arranged in an X shape. A goat, just like the villagers he'd seen near the beginning of his journey. The goat had two dark, curling horns on their head and a stubby black tail. They trotted along at a slow pace, a spherical bell affixed to their neck that rattled as they walked. They looked up at him curiously, regarding him with glowing purple eyes. Two black stripes came off either side of their eyes.

As soon as he saw those facial stripes, Starscream recognized the goat for what he was.

“Unicron!” he shouted, raising his arm to fire. He would not be fooled again, not with such an obvious resemblance to the Devourer.

The goat continued to walk up to him, unalarmed by the threat. Starscream slowly lowered his arm. If this was one of Unicron’s illusions, there was no point in wasting ammunition.

The goat bleated. He barely came up to Starscream’s ankle. This close, Starscream could see signs of his mechanical nature; the fur around his joints was not _quite_ seamless, and his eyes  were too glassy to belong to an organic.

“Unicron? Is that you? What do you want from me?”

 _Meeeeeh_ , the goat bleated again, acting like nothing was wrong. This time he was trying to nibble Starscream’s foot.  For a mech, this goat had such soft, adorable furry lips. He jumped up on hind legs to get higher. 

Starscream knelt down and offered his hand to the goat. The goat jumped into Starscream’s outstretched hand eagerly.

Starscream raised the goat up to his face. From this angle Starscream could see some sort of soft sack hanging from between his legs, with an elongated nozzle jutting from either side. It, like the rest of the goat, looked almost organic. The skin of the sack was dark brown, like basalt. He had seen such sacks on the villagers by Lake Asphodel, but hadn’t think to ask what they were for.

The goat turned around in Starscream’s hand, not afraid of the long fall. He continued to bleat loudly.

“You’re toying with me,” said Starscream.

A long pause as Starscream wondered what the goat wanted. 

He got an answer.  The goat craned his head towards the sack, and began to suck on one of the nozzles. When he withdrew, his lips were covered in a sweet, syrupy, pink, opaque substance that glittered slightly.

The goat turned around, showing off his behind to Starscream. His swollen, wet valve and puckerrd exhaust port were lewdly displayed, as well as his sack. He craned his head to look at Starscream, and began to speak.

“Some  species feed their young with fuel produced from their own body. The process of brooding live young causes them to swell up and secrete nutritious fuel from special organs. But I have no one to drink my fuel, and it’s stuck inside me. It’s so uncomfortable, walking around with a full udder of milk.”

“…you want _me_ get the milk out?”  Starscream asked, incredulously.

Unicron bleated in a way that sounded like a “yes”, wagging his tail.

“Starscream, milk me,” Unicron asked.

Starscream looked at him, dumbfounded. 

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t have hands and I can’t transform. You have to squeeze the milk out with yours.” Unicron replied. 

“I don’t…” Starscream paused. He had never heard of such a thing before.

“My udder is full and aching. Milk me.” Unicron was being awfully nonchalant.

He rolled on his back and put his front legs in the air, showing off the large, squishy bag on his belly. It was absolutely swollen, and a little bit of milk dripped out of either teat. 

Starscream was taken aback. “You expect me to squeeze those…sacks hanging off you?”

“In fact, I do.” Unicron said with glee.

“No.”

“If you don’t get all the milk out, I might burst or clog up, and get an infection. You wouldn’t let an adorable minicon like me come to harm, would you?”

Unicron was regarding Starscream with his best doe-eyed expression.

“You’re kidding,” Starscream said.

Starscream and goat Unicron stared off for a good minute, neither saying anything. Was Unicron serious? Starscream wrinkled his nose in disdain. Unicron looked at him in a serene goat-y way.

Finally, Starscream relented.

“Alright! Alright…I’ll milk you,” he said with a sigh.  

Unicron was absolutely bursting with glee, full udder and all. He jumped off Starscream’s hand in one great leap , and landed on the ground seemingly unharmed, because the next moment he ran off into the grass. 

“Follow me.”  Unicron said over his goat-y shoulder.

Starscream felt compelled to follow, rustling and crushing the grass underneath his feet. He waded through the grass until he saw a clearing where the grass had been trampled. In the center of the clearing there was a raised platform made out of wood. On one end of the platform there was a pole from which a colorful toy was suspended, so that a creature the size of a goat could chew on it. Next to the platform was a shelf with unidentified bottles and tools on it.

Unicron was waiting a few meters from the stand. Seeing Starscream, he ran to him. He brushed against Starscream’s leg and bleated, trying to lead him to the platform.  Slowly, Starscream walked up to the platform.

Starscream sat down on a gigantic wooden bench that had miraculously appeared next to the platform. With that, Unicron hopped right on the platform, wagging his poofy black tail at Starscream. He started chewing the toy suspended from the pole with the nonchalance one would expect of someone going to the salon for a manicure.

Starscream looked at the golden goat, unsure of what to do next. Unicron looked backwards, momentarily letting go of the chew toy.

“This is a milk stand. On Earth, domesticated goats go to milk stands to have the milk removed from their bodies. Usually there’s food near the goat’s head to keep them occupied through this process. Of course, Unicronian satyr-mechs are not owned beings, and can remove their own milk. But I thought you would appreciate this experience,” Unicron explained. 

“What do I have do?” asked Starscream. 

“First, you have to clean my teats. The disinfectant should be in a spray bottle on the shelf, and there’s towels to wipe it off.” 

Teats? That word was new to him. It must be the word for the fuel nozzles on these creatures. Okay, he’d play along. Teats.

Starscream found the bottle with a picture of a goat being cleaned up on it, and a clean towel hanging on a hook. He unscrewed it, and sprayed both teats.  Then he wiped them off with the towel. The teats felt soft and springy through the towel. After he put the towel away, he received his second instruction.

“Put your hands around them now.” 

Starscream obeyed, put his fingers around Unicron’s relatively tiny teats. He squeezed the left teat experimentally. It felt strange. Warm and soft and unlike any material he was familiar with. A little bit of pink liquid dribbled out.

“You have to trap the milk at the top of the teat with your first finger, and then squeeze it out through the rest of the duct.”

Unicron bleated approvingly once Starscream found the right position. 

“Squeeze into this bucket, to catch the milk,” he instructed.

No doubt summoned through his arcane godly powers, a bucket had conveniently materialized under Unicron. 

Slowly, Starscream did as Unicron said, squeezing until a stream of opaque pastel pink fluid squirted out of the teat. 

“Yes, like that.”

Starscream continued to squeeze, picking up the pace. He found it was easiest to squeeze one teat, and then the other, alternating between them. As he squeezed rhythmically, Starscream felt the goat sigh in contentment. It was oddly soothing, squeezing the soft material, filling the bucket in tiny increments. Goat Unicron smelled so good. A layer of froth floated on top of the milk, which smelled pleasantly sweet and grassy. When the milk flow started to dry up, Unicron spoke again.

“Give my entire udder a good squeeze to get all the milk out.” 

Starscream put his fingers against the udder, pushing it against Unicron’s body. He got a few more squeezes of milk after that.

When he was done he had filled the entire bucket full of milk. The bucket was the size of a shotglass for high-grade. He sprayed and wiped down the teats once more, for good measure. 

“It’s very good fuel. Drink it. Consider it a reward for your hard work.” 

Goat Unicron looked up at him, seeming to smile. He was scratching his furry back with his long horns, happy to be relieved of the uncomfortable pressure in his udder. 

Starscream realized that his fuel tank was running low. He must have drained most of his reserves on the way here. _I guess I can drink this weird fuel, which I just squeezed out of a goat_. But he supposed it was no stranger than drinking the Energon from Unicron’s body, which he had been doing for the past few months.  

Huffing, Starscream raised the bucket to his lips and took a sip of the milk, which was still warm out of the goat.

It was sweet, and creamy, and other qualities for which Starscream had no name. No wonder Unicron wanted him to try it! He soon finished the entire bucket, licking up the last droplets from the bottom.

“See?” the goat asked, jumping into Starscream’s lap. The jet had to agree. It was tasty fuel.

He started petting the goat, resigning himself to the strangeness of his current circumstances. Goat Unicron had such soft fur, such squishy sides. Starscream lay back, picking him up and holding the small creature to his chest. His mind felt heavy. He didn’t realize he was this tired. He slid into recharge still holding Unicron.

-

He awoke in the same grassy meadow, with Unicron up and about, hooves standing on his side. Someone had draped a gigantic fleece blanket over Starscream while he slept. Starscream groaned, rolling over and dislodging the goat. The blanket had a pattern of little goats all over it.

“Starscream, you’re awake,” the goat said, jumping around him enthusiastically.

Well, it looked like Unicron would be accompanying him in goat form for the time being.

-

In the days that followed, goat Unicron required daily milking. The jet obliged, charmed by the cuteness of the quadrupedal mech enough to push aside the fact that he was being kept here by a capricious, dangerous Dread God. Squeezing those soft teats gave him something to do with his time, and felt so good. And the milk tasted even better than the high quality fuel that came from Unicron’s veins. The goat seemed to light up inside from seeing him drink warm milk out of the bucket, always watching him drink with an enigmatic smile. Starscream became used to deriving sustenance in this manner.

Eventually, Starscream would idly pet Unicron’s udder  when it wasn’t milking time. When he wanted to refuel right away, he would hold the goat up to his face and delicately drink the milk straight out of Unicron’s teats, which seemed to please Unicron especially.

He saw the goat eat, sometimes, leaves and flowers. But never enough to produce the volume of fuel that flowed so generously from his udder. Starscream attributed it to a mind trick – that Unicron was processing his blood into milk behind the scenes, and feeding it to Starscream through his avatar. He raised no complaint, as it was best not to look ungrateful for a gift. 

The two of them made the meadow their home base. Unicron had made an unfinished farmhouse materialize near the milk stand, and Starscream spent his days tidying up the farmhouse, milking Unicron, and exploring the surrounding area. Sometimes he would take out his sketchbook and draw. The farmhouse, the grassy meadow and the small creatures that lived in it, or most often, he would make drawings of Unicron going about his goat life. 

Sometimes, Unicron would run off and bring back a book in his mouth for him to read. The inhabitants of Unicron were fond of printed books and their greater durability compared to datapads. Written in various languages, the books were on all kinds of subjects: the history of settlement of this planet, the specifics of extraction, and the mechano-biology of Unicron’s interior. Using the language pack that Unicron gave him, Starscream was able to read them. Starscream knew Unicron could just beam him the information telepathically, but the jet figured that Unicron wanted him to appreciate the design craft behind these books.

Other times, it was other people who kept Starscream occupied: there was a settlement some distance from the farmhouse, inhabited by the same horned goat mechs he had seen elsewhere in Unicron. With his strength and flight ability, Starscream would assist them with errands: carrying loads in his cockpit or pulling them with a rope, coating houses in paint, or patching rooves. It seemed that Unicron could muster the energy to assist everyone who lived in him, or wanted them to have something to do with their time.

It was an idyllic life, and Starscream settled right into it. Soon, it felt like this was how his life had always been. Megatron, the War, meeting the humans, seeing the horrors within Unicron’s inner regions – they seemed a distant dream.


	2. A doe in heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unicron is in heat, and uses this opportunity to annoy Starscream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It bugs me that the most popular "goats yelling" video on the internet prominently features a **sheep**. Sheep and goats are not the same!

One day, Unicron started yelling for no apparent reason. He would walk up to the hill near the ranch, crane his neck up, and “maa” loudly. Starscream would spot him walking in circles, wagging his tail and looking back over his shoulder.

“…why are you yelling?” Starscream asked.

Unicron trotted up to him, momentarily pausing from his yelling to utter these words:

“I am in heat, and I wish for someone to relieve me through interface.”

“Heat?” Starscream asked.

“I am especially fertile right now, and have an urgent desire to mate with a suitable genetic donor.”

Unicron’s behind was turned to him, and Starscream would see that the valve lips were puffy, and lubricant dripped out of the opening. His udder was in good condition, too.

"Oh _come on_.” Starscream didn’t even have that equipment.

“The urge is quite intense. I don’t know how I can manage except to yell repeatedly. I have no hands in this state, but _you_ could assist me with a good, hard frag. It doesn’t even need to be a genetic donation.”

“No.” Starscream wasn’t for this “have to interface” funny business. And he didn’t like Unicron toying with him. Don’t have hands my aft. Have to be a goat my aft.

“Very well. Unrelieved heat isn’t fatal for me. This current cycle should be over in a few days anyhow. Until then, I will have to find other sources of relief.”

Unicron let out yet another loud bleat, continuing to holler as he walked off into the distance, sides jiggling and bell collar jingling as he walked. Starscream saw him rubbing off against a round, lumpy mass jutting out of the ground, using it as a sex toy.

Starscream realized he had been able to say “no” without feeling guilty. Well, that was an improvement from when he was with Megatron. He was so bold to defy a God! Ha. Besides, Unicron didn’t _need_ him to get off.

Unicron would go from Starscream’s location and back several times through that week. Starscream wondered where he was going. To get milked and “stimulated” by other mechs in this bizarre funland, no doubt. Whatever it was, it didn’t fully relieve his seemingly insatiable appetite.

The early euphoria from defying a God wore off. It seemed like Starscream’s earlier defiance came with consequences: when Unicron was back at the ranch, his loud yelling would continue through Starscream’s sleeping hours, keeping him from recharging. The jet figured that Unicron just loved to do this to torment him. How funny, ha ha.

So the jet shut himself in the farmhouse and muted his audio receptors. He didn’t want to, because he needed to listen for danger and such, but he wanted to sleep. It was a wonder that Unicron, the planet, didn’t throw him out of the house with all those godly powers he had, and force him to listen to the infernal bleating, but he supposed his host wasn’t feeling _that_ cruel. Starscream might have been a toy, but Unicron was one of those collectors who kept his action figures in light- and temperature-controlled display cases so they wouldn’t get damaged, and wore gloves when he posed the toys in sexual positions.

Starscream continued to catch Unicron going “meeeeh” and “baaaaah” and “eeeeerh” on the premises. The jet figured that he was screaming into the void to relieve the cumulative stresses of being Unicron.

Then a week passed, and the yelling stopped. Unicron had gotten all of that out of his system. He was pawing at the ground and looking for “crunchies” to nibble and scratching his back with his horns like nothing that happened. He returned to being a normal doe, apparently. Well, as normal as a goat who was Unicron could be.

Starscream grumbled. Unicron looked at him with a goat-ish smile and trotted near.

Starscream knew he was being played, but he couldn’t resist the cuteness of such a soft, cuddly minicon. Curses. Curses. Starscream let the goat jump in his lap, and petted him. Unicron was beaming when Starscream give him neck scritches, closing his eyes in bliss.

“You’re cute, but a pain in the aft.”

Unicron wagged his tail and chortled, in the manner that goats chortle. Starscream gave him a playful, gentle bump to the udder.


End file.
